List # 4:
Some of My Most Embarrassing Moments
1. 8 years old.
My mom told the lady cutting my hair to give me a pixie cut. I guess the lady thought that meant, "make her look like a boy."
But that's not the embarrassing part.
We were visiting some dear friend's church (whose son I had a big crush on) when the music leader called all the men and boys to the front of the church to sing together for special music. All the men and boys went up.
He looked down at me, sitting in the very front with my mom and all the other ladies.
"Don't you want to come up and sing, little boy?" he asked.
2. 8th grade.
I was going to a Halloween party with my younger brother and 2 friends of ours. It was a church youth group party. Their church, not ours. All new people to meet.
My costume was fantastic. I was a pirate. Big gold hoops, puffy white shirt, tight black pants, tall black boots, bright yellow vest and a red bandanna. I think I even drew on a mustache with black eyeliner.
I loved Halloween costumes.
My friend wore her brother's football jersey and carried his helmet. She didn't even black her eyes. Our 2 brothers didn't dress up at all.
We walked into the party, and no one else was dressed up.
My friend promptly took off the jersey and hid the helmet under a chair.
I still hate that memory.
3. The summer of my 13th year
Summer camp and I met Raffi. He was 13 too, and he liked me. We sat next to each other in chapel and he held my hand. The first boy I ever held hands with. I was delirious.
I cried the last day of camp. He lived in LA. It might as well have been Alaska.
We promised to write. And we did--all summer long.
I lived for those letters.
Fall came and the letters stopped. I kept sending them, but he didn't write back.
Finally a letter came. It was in his handwriting.
"Dear Greta," it said. "This is Raffi's father. Please stop writing to Raffi. He doesn't have time to write back. He needs to spend more time practicing his trumpet."
I was mortified. I was furious.
I burned all his letters.
I wish I still had them. I bet they'd be very, very fun to read.
4. College
It was a windy, winter day. I had on a dress and tights. After doing some research at the library, I shouldered my back pack and headed outside for the long walk to my car.
I stopped to chat with my friends.
I walked across campus.
There was a new building being built. As I walked by, cat calls, whistles and shouts broke out from the men working on the building. I tried not to pay attention, but no one else was around but me. I couldn't help thinking, "dang, I must look good in this dress!"
I reached the hill that I needed to climb down to reach my car. The wind was strong there.
I felt a very cold breeze on my behind,
I gasped.
I clapped my hands to my rear only to feel.....tights.
My dress was caught up in my backpack.
I walked all the way from the library, showing my panties to the world.
5. Also College
A Sunday morning in February. I pulled into the parking lot of the small church where my dad was the pastor. There was one other car in the parking lot and I didn't recognize it. (told you it was a small church) When I went inside, my dad introduced the visitor to me. He was a stranger but acted like he knew me.
Then I remembered, I had met him once before, at the coffee shop where I worked.
After Sunday school, I settled in the front row with the little kids for the children's story. The stranger sat down next to me. It was awkward.
Time came for announcements and Jim asked the congregation, "does anyone else have any announcements?"
The stranger stood up.
"Oh good Lord," I thought. "He's going to roll down the aisles or try to charm a snake or something."
This is what he said.
"I know it's my first time here at this church, and I have only just met Greta here, but I am so impressed by her and the lovely girl she is, that I wanted to ask you, Pastor Stan, for her hand in marriage."
The whole church gasped. Except for one old man in the back who shouted, "Praise the Lord!'
I wanted to die on the spot.
Thankfully, my dad said no.
Some of you reading this blog have known me a long, long time. Can you remember any moments I have forgotten? Tell me. (I may regret this!) Or share an embarrassing moment of your own. I'd so love to hear it and have a little chuckle.